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[hirosimez]

Acura: Acuraren’t.
Audi: We’re better than BMW and Mercedes. Really.
BMW: Cars for people who care more about making money than the driving experience.
Buick: China!
Cadillac: The BMW of automobiles.
Chevy: Design! Engineering! Meh!
Chrysler: We’ll save Detroit. Really.
Dodge: Get out of (a) Dodge.
Ferrari: Go fast. Pay lots.
Ford: Nice cars at near-obscene prices.
GMC: Who now?
Honda and Toyota: Cars for people who should really be buying Hyundais.
Hyundai: Honda and Toyota better watch their backs…oh, hello there, Kia.
Infiniti: All your base are belong to us.
Jeep: Needed for the potholes. Really.
Kia: Out-hyundaiing Hyundai.
Lamborghini: Go fast. Pay lotser.
Mazda: Gloom gloom gloom.
Mercedes: We used to make amazing, expensive cars. We now make amazingly expensive cars.
Mini: Lol carz.
Mitsubishi: Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Nissan: It’s electric. Boogie woogie.
Porsche: Pay for it, biatches.
Subaru: All the ugliness of old without the quirkiness. Environment!
Suzuki: We make more than motorcycles. Really.
Volvo: Too boring to make up a “given.”
VW: We’re European. Not Chevy-like at all. Really.